


Rubble Left From The Moment

by blueberryreaction



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: M/M, Pre-Slash, The Garrison sucks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-02
Updated: 2016-10-02
Packaged: 2018-08-19 05:11:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8191471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blueberryreaction/pseuds/blueberryreaction
Summary: Shiro's their leader. More than that, they were friends before Shiro disappeared, once Keith stopped snarling like a wild animal at anyone who got too close. If Shiro decided now that he was a Problem, a label Keith had been saddled with since even before he could talk...





	

**Author's Note:**

> This has been kicking around since August. I'm still not happy with it but I want it away from me. Also, a fist shake in the direction of all the people who were like "Hey, go watch this series on Netflix! It's super great!" I love and hate you all.
> 
> Title from "Capsize" by FRENSHIP, the most post-Kerberos Keith/Shiro song I've ever heard.

The first time he catches Shiro watching him is at dinner. Green goo will never be the most appetizing thing in the universe but he's had worse and he's had less and he can't imagine a time he'd ever turn his nose up at three square a day. He looks up to find Shiro looking at him with an assessing look that he's seen Shiro level at challenging superior officers and particularly thorny logistic problems, even at Keith a long time ago. The goo is just warmer than room temperature but it sits heavy and cold in his stomach like ice.

Shiro's their leader. More than that, they were friends before Shiro disappeared, once Keith stopped snarling like a wild animal at anyone who got too close. If Shiro decided now that he was A Problem, a label Keith had been saddled with since before he could talk...

He suddenly can't stomach anymore. He shoves away from the table and walks out, ignoring Hunk calling out a question, Lance’s snotty comment, and everyone else's eyes.

 

The second time is just after they return to the Castle after forming Voltron, the awareness of the others buzzing under his skin. He feels like he's got 16 phantom limbs and 8 extra eyes and it's as unsettling and as nauseating as it is absolutely amazing. Voltron is so much bigger than him, bigger than them.

He feels something he can't place, almost like a haze in his consciousness, a cloud in the corner of his vision. He knows instinctively it's coming from Shiro and he turns to face him before he can even think about it.

Shiro is frowning at him but it clears into a soft smile when their eyes meet. "Good job out there," Shiro says and Keith tries a smile.

"Thanks," he says and tries not to shudder under Shiro's hand when he places it gently on Keith's shoulder. He knows Shiro feels it, feels Shiro pull back instinctively but stop and squeeze in a way that maybe he thinks is reassuring.

"I... Did you want to talk about something?" he asks, kicking himself for being so visibly desperate for Shiro to just keep touching him.

Shiro hesitates but slowly withdraws his hand. Keith resists the urge to audibly complain. "No. Nothing pressing. Go get some rest. I know I’m exhausted."

"Yeah," he says. "My door's open though," he adds quickly, regretting it almost immediately when Shiro's eyebrows rise in surprise. Too obvious, too desperate, damn it all. "If you have criticisms or... tips about my flying. I'll be around."

Shiro smiles wider and nods. "I'll let you know." Keith nods back, internally wanting to find a hard object to introduce his forehead to. Tips about his flying indeed.

"Do you have any tips about _my_ flying?" Hunk asks quietly, pulling Keith away from his own self-flagellation. "I know I'll never be an ace like you and Shiro but maybe I can learn some stuff?" He looks so hopeful that Keith doesn't have the heart to turn him away.

"Of course, buddy." The bright grin Hunk gives him drives Shiro and his staring from his mind.

 

The third time, Keith has just had his ass royally kicked by the training deck. His sword was knocked from his hand so hard, it stuck in the wall. Keith lets out a roar of frustration as the simulation disappears, leaving him in an empty room with his bayard sticking from the fucking wall. He catches a glint of metal through the glass of the observation room; Shiro looks down at him, arms crossed.

He’s too far away for Keith to read his face but it’s suddenly all too much. The bubble of rage in his chest, building up under days of scrutiny and stress and fighting for the sake of the entire universe, bursts.

"The fuck is your problem?!" Keith yells at him before stalking over to yank the blade free. He doesn’t know if Shiro can even hear him. When he looks up again, Shiro is gone.

 

"If you don't fucking trust me, just say so," Keith says conversationally, not bothering to look away from his book. He knows Shiro is watching him as Keith lays on his back on the couch, book held in the air above him. "I may be unstable but good luck finding another Paladin for Red before Galra comes back."

"Wait, what are you talking about?" Shiro says, something like hurt tinging his voice. And isn't that just rich.

Keith lays his book on his chest and looks at Shiro. "You've been watching me like you're expecting to go off the deep end. I know you knew me at one of my lowest times when I first joined the Garrison but that doesn't mean I need a nanny."

"I'm not watching you!" Shiro protests but wilts when Keith scoffs and sits up, fully prepared to walk out. "I'm not watching you because I don't trust you," Shiro amends. "I'm just... worried."

"That I'm a threat to the team?"

"That you're too attached to me."

Keith's blood runs cold. Shiro knew what Keith had felt for him before Kerberos, had explained to him gently that a relationship between an officer and a cadet would trash both of their careers before they even got off the ground. Keith had gotten over it, mostly. Shiro had never treated it like an issue. But of course it was, how naive was he to think otherwise.

"I'm over you," Keith says but the words sound hollow even to his own ears. "It's not a problem."

"No, that's not what I mean!" Shiro corrects somewhat frantically, getting to his feet and walking over to Keith, his palms out in a gesture urging calm. "Look, I know you got booted from the Garrison. I know that the time you started… acting out and the time Galra grabbed me and Matt were approximately the same. I'm just wondering if that's a coincidence... or something the team will have to deal with if something should happen to me."

It's too much information to process at once and Keith can only blink up at him. "What?"

"This mission is dangerous. If I get captured or worse, I have to know that you won't... go back to bad habits."

"Are you planning on dying?" Keith demands. "If you've got some suicide plan in the works, Shiro, I swear to every god in this universe-"

"Calm down, it's nothing like that," Shiro says, sitting down next to Keith and putting his hand over Keith's where it rests on Keith's knee. "But we're lucky we've managed to go this long without losing anyone. And the team needs you. Like you said, finding another pilot for the Red Lion would be almost impossible."

"I... What the fuck, Shiro?! Is this what you've been worried about? That I'll lose my mind with grief if I lose you again?" Shiro has the grace to look a little ashamed of himself. "It wasn't grief that got me booted. It was anger. You gave everything to the Garrison. Your life, your loyalty." Keith stops and looks down at his hands. "A chance at maybe something that could make you happy. You gave up all of that and those motherfuckers couldn't even be bothered to fucking look for you.

And they told everyone it was your fault. Pilot error.” He scoffs, the noise low and bitter and carrying far too much memory. “What purpose did your sacrifice serve if it wasn't returned? What purpose did _mine_? But I was too scared to just walk away. I had nothing to walk away to. When they kicked me out, I was terrified. But I was also free." Keith looks down at where Shiro's hand is squeezing his hard enough to ache. "I missed you. And I did grieve for you. But I hated doing simulations of your rescue when I knew that they hadn't done a damn thing to find you. I hated them."

"I hated them too," Shiro confesses quietly. Keith looks up quickly. "I remember sitting in a cell, knowing that the Garrison wouldn't come for me even as I told Matt that they had an army looking for us. I don't know if he believed me."

“Did you hate them before?”

“Maybe a little. I always knew that loyalty was a one way street with them and I thought I was all right with that. Some of the things they asked me to give up…” He stops and looks at Keith, his expression a little sad but with a small fond smile. Keith tries to quiet the hammering of his heart. “But it wasn’t until Galra that I knew how much I hated them. I saw so much of the Garrison in the Galra, the way they used people like objects to be molded and sold.”

“The way I found you..” Keith starts then trails off.

“They talked about me like I was a thing, a piece of alien tech to figure out. Months of being a prisoner and a gladiator… I get home and I was still just an object.”

“Voltron’s the best thing that ever happened to me,” Keith blurts out. “I’m glad it brought you back to me.”

Keith doesn’t have time to start mentally kicking himself for that little nugget of inconvenient truth before Shiro says, “Me too.” He squeezes Keith’s hand again and Keith smiles at him, a smile that had come more easily and more frequently since Shiro fell out of the sky.

Keith pulls his hand away suddenly to slug Shiro in the arm. “So don’t talk bullshit about something happening to you. We need you.”

Shiro raises his hands in mock surrender, breathing out a laugh. “I’ve got no plans to go anywhere.”


End file.
